Effective networking is not about finding your next “victim.”

People shouldn’t feel used after they speak with you.

To succeed in your career, you must cultivate mutually fulfilling relationships. You don’t want others to think you are approaching networking for the wrong reasons, as effective networking is crucial.

Don’t be that person who promptly goes into selling mode.

Avoid asking for a significant favor within 10 minutes of meeting someone.

Networking should be practical and purposeful.

People help you because most are friendly, but they may feel used afterward. No one wants to be in a networking situation where the other person talks about themselves the whole time.

Effective networking should not make the other person feel taken advantage of.

Don’t be the person who people question your motives.

Instead, take time to listen. Ask thoughtful questions. Show genuine curiosity about the other person’s actions, challenges, and plans.

Offer help before you ask for it. Send a helpful article, make an intro, or share a resource. These small gestures build trust.

Great networkers focus on giving value first and letting the rest follow. People will sense if your only goal is to extract from others.

But your network will grow naturally and sustainably if you come to serve, support, and connect with others.

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” —Keith Ferrazzi, an American author and entrepreneur

How to network effectively so others don’t feel used

When networking, consider three things. Ensure your new network connections don’t appear to be in use. You want to develop a long-term professional relationship founded on trust and mutual value.

Let’s discuss how effective networking should be conducted through authenticity, active listening, and a genuine wish to help others succeed.

1. Add value first and figure out how you can help

“What makes networking work is that it sets up win-win situations in which all parties involved get to take something home. Networking is a sharing process. Until you understand that, you won’t have much of a network.” — Earl G. Graves, Sr., an American entrepreneur, publisher, businessman, philanthropist

Help first and add value. That’s a networking mantra for a reason. Attend networking events to help others and make sure your strategy is effective.

Learn from others and discover how you can support their professional and personal lives.

Identify a commonality and determine how you can help them address the problem they are experiencing.

The best way to grow your network is to give, give, and give. Friendships can lead to powerful professional connections, which are the essence of effective networking.

Be curious about others and learn something new. Be helpful and share your resources with others. You never know when a small gesture will make a big difference.

Generosity and authenticity build trust and open doors you didn’t expect. People remember how you made them feel. So make them feel supported, not sold to. That’s how relationships turn into opportunities.

2. Don’t ask for favors right away

“Networking that matters is helping people achieve their goals.” — Seth Godin, an American author

Delay asking for what you want. I know that’s tough, but it will pay off in the long run. Don’t be viewed as a user. Help the other person with their goals and ask yourself: how can you practice effective networking?

How can I help this person? If you are a taker, people will ignore you.

Don’t ask for favors right away; wait for at least a couple of months. Make sure you create a genuine friendship before you ask for a favor.

If you want to request a significant favor, wait at least a year.

The best way to be “ghosted” after a networking event is to ask for a favor that night.

Be a giver first, then a taker later.

3. Ask for what you want after you build a relationship

“Networking means the act of exchanging information with people who can help you professionally.” — Michele Jennae, an American writer and artist

The best communicators make their intentions clear and concise. They ask for what they want in a way that comes across appropriately, reflecting effective networking practices.

Yes, networking can be uncomfortable, but you must come across as professional to avoid potential misunderstandings. It can happen when you disguise your intentions.

Ask for what you want once you’ve gotten to know someone well. Be clear about your ask and what it’s all about. People don’t like sneaky asks.

After you develop a relationship with someone, you can ask clearly for what you want. That clarity builds trust. When people understand where you’re coming from and why you’re asking, they’re far more willing to help.

Authenticity beats manipulation every time. Networking is a long game. Play it honestly.

Bringing it all together

To network effectively, you must come across as someone who makes others feel valued in your conversations. Effective networking is essential to your career, but you must ensure your intentions are communicated clearly.

When you add value and figure out how to help, don’t ask for favors right away. After building relationships, effective networking lets you ask for what you want.

This way, you can ensure people don’t feel used. Networking is about creating meaningful, long-term relationships.

The best networkers approach every interaction with curiosity and generosity. They ask good questions and actively listen. They look for ways to be helpful, whether that’s a simple compliment.

“Networking takes time and when done correctly can yield great results for years to come.” — Diane Helbig, a business and leadership development coach, author, speaker, and workshop facilitator

It also shares a relevant article or offers an introduction. These small acts of value add up. Over time, you build credibility and trust, which is the real currency of a strong network.

Remember: people can tell when they’re being “worked.” If your approach feels transactional or self-serving, you’ll burn bridges instead of building them.

Focus on planting seeds, not just picking fruit. That’s how you grow a network that lasts.

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